Some of you heard me mention this past Sunday the friend who came to me on a Monday morning while I was pastoring a congregation in Indiana several years ago. His words to me were, "You are one of the most angry people I know". He cared enough to observe my tone of voice, my mannerisms, my facial expression-and despite the protests in my mind over his assessment, he was right. That night after my family had gone to bed I decided to take some time to think about what he had said. I was lying on the floor in front of the parsonage fireplace. As I thought about what my friend had said strong emotions of anger began to come to the surface. It wasn't long until I was literally pounding the floor with my fist (fortunately deep pile carpet was stylish in those days) in rage. I don't even remember now the specifics of my anger. Most of it had to do with my efforts to be the "perfect pastor". (I think my tie was too tight!!) To make a long story short God met me in that room. For some reason He impressed me to go to the book of Jonah and it was in this story of an angry prophet that I found deliverance from the foothold I had given the devil. In Jonah 2 there is recorded Jonah's prayer. At the end of that prayer Jonah said, "salvation comes from the Lord". It was in that phrase that the Lord showed me that all of my efforts at performing in the Kingdom were useless. Worse yet they would leave me frustrated, angry, deceived and blind to my true condition. What He wanted was for me to quit trying so hard to please people, and myself and begin to rest in His salvation. I don't have time to go into detail but a stronghold was broken there in that room. Anger began to subside-the enemy was knocked off the place I had given him and the healing restoring power of the Gospel began a work of renewal in my heart. That most certainly wasn't the end of my struggle with being angry-I still have to deal with it as all of you do. But it was a great lesson in the ability of the Lord to deliver me from it. It was a wonderful example of how He uses people in the Body of Christ to build the Body up.
Thanks for reading my story. I'd like to hear from you if you have any feed-back or if you would just like to talk about your own journey in this.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
I Never Saw it Coming
Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the one of the hardest experiences my family has ever been through. On March 28th, 2008 my daughter-in-law Stephanie was hit head-on by a wreckless driver. In the van with her were our two grand-daughters Kelsi and Ava. Amazingly, the girls were not injured but Steph was severely injured. She had a broken left femur, several broken ribs , a collapsed lung and her neck was broken in two places. With the Lord's help in answering many prayers she is doing great today. (Any of you who would like more details are welcome to ask) We celebrated yesterday by going bowling. To show how well she has recovered she bowled a whopping 65 or something like that.
The subject of this blog though is about something that happened as a family member. Due to Steph's severe injuries she was air-lifted to a truama center. I spent a great deal of time as did many others with her there. It was there that I experienced some of the deepest anger that I can recall in my life. My opinion was that Steph was greatly mistreated and I was many times furious with the staff. This went on for days and I found myself in this enraged state for days at a time as I tried with others to help her get the care she needed. Little did I realize that I had become not just angry but I was an angry person. Looking back I regret not heeding the admonition of James 1:19-20. But to be honest I didn't want to. I wanted to force those people to treat Steph better. I justified my rage by my love for her but the truth is I felt personally violated that someone I loved was being mistreated. My rage accomplished very little in helping Steph but the damage to me was deep. And to make matters worse, I never saw it coming. Like everybody else life went on busy as ever. A few months later I found myself depressed, dry spirited, hard hearted and joyless. Old temptations which I once was able to resist began to be met with little resistance. Reading the Word was more a chore than a source of nourishment. Prayer was becoming more and more the performance of a monologue. Through my un-resolved anger I had given the devil a foothold in my life. I will spare you all the gory details but suffice it say I was miserable and virtually useless in the Kingdom.
By God's grace I was in a 12-step group at that time. Some of my friends in recovery began to notice the difference in me and began asking questions. The Lord used this group of loving friends to get me to the place where the enemy could be dis-lodged from the "foothold" I had given him .Maybe you identify with my story. I only share it in the hopes that someone else who has "sold Boardwalk" to the devil can find the deliverance that I have. If this is you I am praying for you. I am willing to join with you on your journey in this. Just let me know.
Thanks for reading my story.
The subject of this blog though is about something that happened as a family member. Due to Steph's severe injuries she was air-lifted to a truama center. I spent a great deal of time as did many others with her there. It was there that I experienced some of the deepest anger that I can recall in my life. My opinion was that Steph was greatly mistreated and I was many times furious with the staff. This went on for days and I found myself in this enraged state for days at a time as I tried with others to help her get the care she needed. Little did I realize that I had become not just angry but I was an angry person. Looking back I regret not heeding the admonition of James 1:19-20. But to be honest I didn't want to. I wanted to force those people to treat Steph better. I justified my rage by my love for her but the truth is I felt personally violated that someone I loved was being mistreated. My rage accomplished very little in helping Steph but the damage to me was deep. And to make matters worse, I never saw it coming. Like everybody else life went on busy as ever. A few months later I found myself depressed, dry spirited, hard hearted and joyless. Old temptations which I once was able to resist began to be met with little resistance. Reading the Word was more a chore than a source of nourishment. Prayer was becoming more and more the performance of a monologue. Through my un-resolved anger I had given the devil a foothold in my life. I will spare you all the gory details but suffice it say I was miserable and virtually useless in the Kingdom.
By God's grace I was in a 12-step group at that time. Some of my friends in recovery began to notice the difference in me and began asking questions. The Lord used this group of loving friends to get me to the place where the enemy could be dis-lodged from the "foothold" I had given him .Maybe you identify with my story. I only share it in the hopes that someone else who has "sold Boardwalk" to the devil can find the deliverance that I have. If this is you I am praying for you. I am willing to join with you on your journey in this. Just let me know.
Thanks for reading my story.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
A Lesson From the "Atheists"
The Roman Emporer Julian (A.D.332-363) while trying to revive the ancient pagan religion was frustrated by the "atheists"(who did not believe in the Roman gods but in Christ). He wrote:
"Atheism [i.e., Christian faith] has been specially advanced through the loving service
rendered to strangers, and through their care for the burial of the dead. It is a scandal
there is not a single Jew who is a beggar, and that the Galileans care not only for their
own poor but for ours as well; while those who belong to us look in vain for the help
we should render them".
This is a great lesson for The Body of Christ today especially in the present economic state of our nation. There are more and more people in our community who are now in need and if things continue on the present trend many more will be added to those who will struggle to meet the daily necessities of life. Once again the Lord is setting us up. The opportunities to show the love of Christ to people are all around us. Be on the look-out for those around you who need help and give all that you can. Begin to ask the Lord to make you sensitive to the needs of others. Talk with others in the Body about how they are looking out for the welfare of people in need in our community. I am praying that there will be such an outpouring of compassion from the Church in our time that people will be unable to miss the fact that Jesus is among them.
"Atheism [i.e., Christian faith] has been specially advanced through the loving service
rendered to strangers, and through their care for the burial of the dead. It is a scandal
there is not a single Jew who is a beggar, and that the Galileans care not only for their
own poor but for ours as well; while those who belong to us look in vain for the help
we should render them".
This is a great lesson for The Body of Christ today especially in the present economic state of our nation. There are more and more people in our community who are now in need and if things continue on the present trend many more will be added to those who will struggle to meet the daily necessities of life. Once again the Lord is setting us up. The opportunities to show the love of Christ to people are all around us. Be on the look-out for those around you who need help and give all that you can. Begin to ask the Lord to make you sensitive to the needs of others. Talk with others in the Body about how they are looking out for the welfare of people in need in our community. I am praying that there will be such an outpouring of compassion from the Church in our time that people will be unable to miss the fact that Jesus is among them.
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