I Never Saw it Coming

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the one of the hardest experiences my family has ever been through. On March 28th, 2008 my daughter-in-law Stephanie was hit head-on by a wreckless driver. In the van with her were our two grand-daughters Kelsi and Ava. Amazingly, the girls were not injured but Steph was severely injured. She had a broken left femur, several broken ribs , a collapsed lung and her neck was broken in two places. With the Lord's help in answering many prayers she is doing great today. (Any of you who would like more details are welcome to ask) We celebrated yesterday by going bowling. To show how well she has recovered she bowled a whopping 65 or something like that.
The subject of this blog though is about something that happened as a family member. Due to Steph's severe injuries she was air-lifted to a truama center. I spent a great deal of time as did many others with her there. It was there that I experienced some of the deepest anger that I can recall in my life. My opinion was that Steph was greatly mistreated and I was many times furious with the staff. This went on for days and I found myself in this enraged state for days at a time as I tried with others to help her get the care she needed. Little did I realize that I had become not just angry but I was an angry person. Looking back I regret not heeding the admonition of James 1:19-20. But to be honest I didn't want to. I wanted to force those people to treat Steph better. I justified my rage by my love for her but the truth is I felt personally violated that someone I loved was being mistreated. My rage accomplished very little in helping Steph but the damage to me was deep. And to make matters worse, I never saw it coming. Like everybody else life went on busy as ever. A few months later I found myself depressed, dry spirited, hard hearted and joyless. Old temptations which I once was able to resist began to be met with little resistance. Reading the Word was more a chore than a source of nourishment. Prayer was becoming more and more the performance of a monologue. Through my un-resolved anger I had given the devil a foothold in my life. I will spare you all the gory details but suffice it say I was miserable and virtually useless in the Kingdom.
By God's grace I was in a 12-step group at that time. Some of my friends in recovery began to notice the difference in me and began asking questions. The Lord used this group of loving friends to get me to the place where the enemy could be dis-lodged from the "foothold" I had given him .Maybe you identify with my story. I only share it in the hopes that someone else who has "sold Boardwalk" to the devil can find the deliverance that I have. If this is you I am praying for you. I am willing to join with you on your journey in this. Just let me know.
Thanks for reading my story.